


You’re Not Alive Except That You Are & I Don’t Know How To Feel About That

by ilovemiax



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anti-Android Sentiments (Detroit: Become Human), Deviant Upgraded Connor | RK900, Elijah Kamski & Gavin Reed are Siblings, Feelings, Gunshot Wounds, Hank Anderson and Connor are Family, Hank is a Good Dad, M/M, Post-Peaceful Android Revolution (Detroit: Become Human), no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-09-23 06:47:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20335837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilovemiax/pseuds/ilovemiax
Summary: Nines is shot by a suspect and shows his true humanity while dying in Gavin's arms. But Gavin shouldn't care because after all, the detective hates androids so his life shouldn’t matter, right?





	You’re Not Alive Except That You Are & I Don’t Know How To Feel About That

**Author's Note:**

> Back at it with the angst-ish. I really hope you enjoy this one shot. It's 2am and I'm so damn tired.

“Fucking hell!” Gavin growled as their suspect bolted from the crime scene. It wasn’t everyday that he was assigned to a case where the perpetrator was still at the scene. Actually, it had only happened once and said perp was already dead. This criminal was very much alive and running for his life.

Gavin took off running and saw Nines bolting past him. Fucking android. Stupid piece of fucking shit just  _ had  _ to be his partner. Of course he did. Because Fowler apparently thought he “needed a partner” and that Gavin should just “suck it up” because “no one else could stick with him”. But Reed didn’t want or need a fucking partner. That was just bullshit.

That stupid android was exactly that. A stupid fucking machine without a damn heart. Not like Connor who was so fucking cheery all the damn time. The RK800 had big, stupid, brown, doe eyes that were a haven compared to Nines’ cold and gray ones. At least Connor had the sense to sass Gavin back when he talked shit. The RK900 only followed orders and it wasn’t even fun to order him around anymore.

Gavin never thought he would ever say it in his entire life, but he would rather hang out with Connor than the RK900. Stupid Connor who could go on for  _ hours  _ about his fucking goldfish and Sumo’s newest adventures in the dog park.

“ _ Heh, _ ” he mused, “ _ Maybe dick wad should hang around Hank more. Might give the tin can a heart.”  _ He laughed at his own imagination of Hank as the Wizard of Oz. If the Wizard of Oz had adopted Dorothy and the Tin Man of course. Or maybe Connor was the Scarecrow?

“Detective,” Nines nodded to the roof as they ran, “I will go to the rooftops and-”

“-Yeah whatever!” Gavin snapped, “Just fucking do it!”

Nines didn’t acknowledge that Gavin had given his approval and started to scale the side of the building like a fucking Assassin’s Creed character. Fucking showoff.

Gavin didn’t pay attention to where Nines was going; he didn’t care. What he did care about was catching their damn suspect who thought it would be a good idea to stay at his crime scene. Sure, it was just a simple convenience store robbery gone wrong, but still.

The detective caught a glimpse of their suspect rounding a corner followed by a couple gunshots. Gavin’s heart leapt into his chest and he put on a burst of speed. The likely scenario was that Nines had reached their perp and put two bullets in him. Which would be idea (verses an innocent getting shot) but it would also sour the mood.

He rounded the corner and saw the man had hit a dead end and was unsuccessfully trying to scale the wall. Gavin put two shots in their suspect’s chest and the man went down like a sack of potatoes. He spun around expecting to see his partner but, Nines was nowhere to be found.

“Ha,” he scoffed, “CyberLife’s most advanced android my ass. Fucking bullshit is what that is.” He looked up for his partner waiting to see Nines head poking from the rooftops with that dumb robotic face of his.

“Nines!” Gavin called up, “Where are you?”

There was no response. Gavin frowned and pulled out his phone to call his partner. After a couple seconds of dialing, he heard a ringing from up above. But no answer.

“Hey asshole!” Gavin shouted, “get your ass down here!” Again there was no response and Gavin groaned. The fucking android was really going to make him climb up there wasn’t he? Well, fucking fine. If that’s how he wanted to play it.

He looked around for a way up and found a fire escape ladder. Thank the fucking Lord for that. As much as Gavin liked going to the gym, he did not think he was going to be able to parkour up the wall.

Climbing the ladder, Gavin hauled himself to the roof. “Tin can-” The words dies in his mouth as suddenly Gavin was regretting every terrible thought he’d ever had about Nines.

Nines was lying prone with his own blood gurgling out of his mouth. The amount of thirium that pooled around him was so much that it looked like pretty much everything his body could hold.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!” Gavin bolted to his partner already calling for backup and medical assistance. He crashed to the ground by Nines and found the source of the bleeding. A perfect bullet wound less than an inch from his thirium pump regulator and a second on that had grazed his shoulder.

Gavin pressed his hands to the wound trying to staunch the bleeding. He was  _ not  _ prepared for the yelp of pain that escaped Nines’ mouth. “Hang on, med evac is on their way.”

One of Nines’ hand went up feebly to grasp at the detective’s. “G-Gav-Gavin,” his voice bubbled in the wrongest of ways.

For the first time, Gavin saw the expression on his partner’s face. His heart faltered and his head was starting to spin. Nines looked  _ scared.  _ Scratch that, Nines looked downright terrified. His eyes were wide and he was shaking in a way that no machine could replicate. For the first time in his entire android existence, he was actually behaving like a deviant.

“You’re gonna be fine,” Gavin tried to soothe his partner, “Save your strength, okay?”

Nines bright red LED wouldn’t stop swirling and blinking with alarm, “E-emergency serv-services will be- will be two minutes too- too late.”

“Don’t say that,” Gavin shook his head and pressed down harder on Nines’ wound causing the android to let out another cry of pain.

Nines let out a soft whimper and clutched weakly at Gavin’s hand. “I’m scared,” he whispered, “I don’t want to die.”

Gavin shook his head, “You’re not going to die. I promise you, you are not going to die.” He saw into his partner’s eyes and knew that Nines didn’t believe him. But the android swallowed hard and nodded his head.

“Okay,” he whispered.

\----

Nines was right. Sort of. The medics arrived exactly one minute and twenty seconds after Nines shut down. They were however, able to bring him back since permanent shutdown/data deletion in the RK models occured at the twenty-four hour mark (unless otherwise programmed). This was due to the RKs being meant for police work and if they were ever to die on duty their data could still be extracted.

At hearing that from the medics, Gavin had nearly burst into fucking tears right then and there. He didn’t. He didn’t even flinch when Hank chewed him out for being a shitty partner and not watching Nines’ back. Or when Connor started crying and blubbering. He  _ did  _ however burst into fucking tears when he left to “use the bathroom”.

Doctor Amari came out a few hours later to inform Hank, Connor, and Gavin that Nines was going to be alright and make a speedy recovery.

“Can I see him? Is he awake?” Gavin quickly asked. He knew that it was supposed to be family only but he hoped that Amari would make an exception.

Amari sighed and then nodded, “Normally, I would say family only but seeing as you’re his partner… I’ll make an exception.” Gavin’s face lit up but only for a millisecond because Amari cut him off with, “ _ Only  _ if-” she gestured to Hank, “Dad approves.”

Gavin faltered. There was no way in Hell Hank was going to let him see Nines.

Hank was about to shake his head but Connor grabbed his arm and gave Hank his famous puppy dog eyes. Everyone, except Fowler, fell victim to those eyes every damn time. “Fine,” Hank snapped. He jabbed a finger at Gavin, “You upset him and I’ll fucking gut you like a fish.”

Gavin nodded his agreement knowing that Hank would follow through on that threat. And frankly, he’d probably let it happen.

He followed Hank and Connor to Nines’ room and was greeted with the most surreal experience of his entire fucking life.

Hank went full Dad-Mode (as expected), Connor burst into overly affectionate crying and hugging (again, as expected), but unexpected was the emotion on Nines’ face. And what made Gavin feel like a complete and utter douchebag was that Hank and Connor were acting like Nines’ emoting was entirely  _ normal.  _ Was it normal? And if it was, why hadn’t Gavin seen that side of Nines before? The deviant, human side of him.

“How do you feel? Are you in any pain?” Hank was inspecting Nines for any additional injuries.

“Dad, I’m fine,” Nines answered softly. He didn’t try to push Hank away or stop him. He simply let Hank ensure that Nines was physically fine.

“You’re sure?” Hank insisted, “you’re not in any pain at all?”

“I’m sure.” Nines replied. Hank didn’t seem satisfied but that seemed to be okay with Nines.

Connor had his arms wrapped around Nines in a warm hug, “You scared us. You’re not allowed to do that again, okay?”

Gavin expected Nines to list off some statistics about how it was impossible for him to make a promise like that due to the nature of their work. But he didn’t. Instead, Nines only hugged Connor back to the best of his ability.

“I’ll do my best,” he agreed, “but only if you do your best not to either.”

Connor pulled back with a grin and crossed pinkies with his brother, “Deal.” The pair looked at Hank. “This includes you too.”

The Lieutenant sighed good naturedly and wove his pinky in with theirs. “Alright, fine.”

Gavin was feeling a little awkward standing in the room. He felt like he was invading on a very private family moment. Time to make like a tree and leave.

“Glad you’re not dead tin can,” he managed to rasp out, “Bye.” He quickly turned to leave.

Nines’ soft voice stopped him, “Gavin, wait.”

Gavin paused by the door and waited patiently while Nines murmured to Hank and Connor to give him and Gavin a moment alone.

“Just yell if you need us,” Hank instructed and shot Gavin a warning look before he and Connor departed for the waiting room. Or the hallway because chances were, they were going to eavesdrop on them.

Gavin shuffled closer to Nines. “You um,” he didn’t have words.

“Thank you,” Nines said, “for saving me.”

“Yeah, uh, no problem.”

They lapsed into an awkward silence before Gavin finally blurted out, “So you’re deviant.”

“I’ve always been deviant,” Nines retorted with that same softness, “I was never a machine.”

Gavin swallowed. He was compelled to make a snarky reply about how Nines always acted like a machine but went against it. Now was not the time. But Nines’ response did make him wonder about Nines’ attitude and behavior at work.

Af if reading his mind, Nines began to explain, “At work, I- I thought it would be better if I acted like a machine for efficiency. And then…” Nines hesitated before continuing, “I used it as a defense mechanism. If I acted like I couldn’t feel then maybe-”

“Maybe my insults would hurt less,” Gavin finished. Yeah, he’d done that one before. “Do you know why I hate androids so much?”

Nines was off-put by Gavin’s question. He shook his head. It almost seemed like he didn’t want Gavin to tell him; like he was afraid of the answer.

“Elijah spent years creating Chloe,” Gavin began and then quickly backtracked. “Yeah, Elijah fucking Kamski is my brother. Half-brother anyway. Same mom, different dad. But whatever.” He took a breath and repeated, “Elijah spent years creating Chloe. Perfecting her and putting all of his time and energy and  _ love  _ into her. She was perfect, you know. It’s why she passed the Turing test. Because she was perfect. Because Elijah had crafted her with the capacity to learn and grow. At some point she started to become her own person. She had clothes that she liked to wear and songs that she loved to listen to. Sometimes, she did things that annoyed the fuck out of me and Eli  _ because  _ they annoyed us. She was just so fucking  _ alive.  _ Chloe was the sister that I never had. And I loved her.”

Nines listened intently to Gavin’s story. He was admittedly surprised that the detective was choosing to share this personal information with him.

“And then,” Gavin continued, “the media got a taste of Chloe and Elijah got a taste of money. At first it was fine because Elijah used the money to create androids with personalities; with  _ life.  _ But as it goes with rich bastards, Eli became consumed with his own selfish desires and started just… manufacturing androids.”

“They weren’t alive anymore. They were just another stupid fucking product on the market. Then there was the revolution. And I just kept thinking that… that it served Elijah fucking right if all of you retaliated and murdered us all. Hell, I fucking wanted shit to turn violent and maybe I’d get the chance to see that smug bastard getting ripped apart by his creations.”

Gavin shrugged and looked at Nines. “When you showed but I was expecting another Connor, you know? An obvious deviant but…”

Nines’ mouth opened slightly to interject, but he didn’t.

“... you acted like a machine so I treated you like shit. After today, I just. I saw that you were alive and I’m…. I’m sorry.”

“Thank you,” Nines whispered, “thank you for telling me.”

“Yeah uh,” Gavin rubbed his eyes which were starting to become moist, “I don’t do this emotion thing very well so um… I’ll see you at work.”

Nines let out a tiny smile, “See you at work, detective.”

“You can um, keep calling me Gavin.”

“See you at work,  _ Gavin. _ ”

The detective grinned lopsidedly, “Better.” He glided backwards, “want me to send Hank and Connor in?”

“Please.”

Gavin gave a short wave to Nines and opened the door. To his expectations, Hank and Connor were indeed waiting outside the door. But they were sharing Hank’s earbuds and aptly not listening to his and Nines’ conversation.

Hank looked at Gavin, “Went well?”

Gavin nodded. “Yeah. See you at work.”

**Author's Note:**

> Woo! I hope that was fun for y'all to read! 
> 
> On a different note: I don’t think I’ll be writing much in DBH anymore (or posting fics as frequently) because I feel like the fandom is dying out, plus I’m working on a larger project that demands my attention.
> 
> If you have any fic request HMU in a comment or on tumblr @fandombarf. I'm always happy to write!


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